Asking for introductions can feel uncomfortable. You don't want to come across as pushy, transactional, or like you're only reaching out when you need something. But here's the thing: most people are actually happy to help, if you ask the right way.
The key is making it easy for your connection to say yes. When you follow a proven framework, asking for introductions becomes a natural part of building relationships, not an awkward favor.
The Psychology of Asking
People want to help others succeed. It makes them feel good and strengthens relationships. The problem isn't that people don't want to help. It's that most requests are poorly structured.
A good introduction request should:
- Show you've done your research
- Make it clear why you're a good fit
- Make it easy for them to say yes (or no)
- Respect their time and relationship
- Offer value in return
The Framework: The 5-Step Introduction Request
Step 1: Reconnect First
Don't ask for an introduction in your first message after months of silence. Reconnect first. Share something interesting, congratulate them on a recent achievement, or comment on something they posted. Build rapport before making the ask.
Step 2: Be Specific About What You're Looking For
Vague requests get vague responses. Instead of "I'm looking for a job," say "I'm looking for a Product Manager role at a Series B fintech startup in SF or NYC." The more specific you are, the easier it is for them to help.
Step 3: Explain Why You're a Good Fit
Help them understand why you're worth introducing. Share 2-3 relevant accomplishments or experiences that make you qualified for what you're seeking. This gives them confidence in making the introduction.
Step 4: Make It Easy
Don't make them write the introduction message. Draft it for them. Say something like: "If you're comfortable, here's a message you could forward, or feel free to use your own words..."
💡 Pro Tip: Always draft the introduction message for them. It removes friction and increases the likelihood they'll help.
Step 5: Give Them an Out
Make it clear they can say no without feeling guilty. "I completely understand if you're not comfortable making this introduction. No pressure at all." This removes the awkwardness and makes them more likely to help.
Sample Introduction Request Template
Here's a template you can adapt:
"Hi [Name],
Hope you're doing well! I saw your post about [something relevant] and wanted to reach out.
I'm currently exploring [specific role/opportunity] at [type of company] in [location]. Given your experience in [relevant area],
I thought you might know someone who could help.
I've [relevant accomplishment 1], [relevant accomplishment 2], and [relevant accomplishment 3], which I think makes me a strong
fit for this type of role.
If you know anyone at [target companies/types] who might be open to a conversation, I'd be incredibly grateful for an introduction.
I've drafted a message below that you could forward, or feel free to use your own words:
[Drafted introduction message]
Of course, I completely understand if you're not comfortable making this introduction. No pressure at all. Either way,
I'd love to catch up soon!
Thanks so much,
[Your name]"
Common Mistakes to Avoid
- Being too vague: "I'm looking for a job" doesn't help anyone help you
- Asking too soon: Don't ask in your first message after reconnecting
- Making it about you: Frame it as mutual value, not just what you need
- Not doing your research: Show you've thought about why this connection makes sense
- Being pushy: Always give them an easy out
Following Up (Without Being Annoying)
If they don't respond, wait 7-10 days before a gentle follow-up. Keep it brief and low-pressure:
"Hi [Name], just wanted to bump this in case it got buried. No worries if you're not able to help. I completely understand!"
If they still don't respond, let it go. Don't follow up again. They've seen your message and will respond if they want to.
🚀 Need help crafting your introduction requests? Get your personalized warm intro report with ready-to-send messages.
The Bottom Line
Asking for introductions doesn't have to be awkward. When you follow a proven framework, make it easy for people to help, and respect their time and relationships, most people are happy to make introductions.
Remember: you're not asking for a favor. You're offering them an opportunity to help someone they know succeed. That's a win-win for everyone.