Networking

Coffee Chat Questions to Ask (and How to Get One)

A good coffee chat is not an interview and not small talk. The right questions make the other person enjoy it — and make them want to help you afterward.

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Example — what you’ll see

Someone who works at your target company

🎓 Same university as you · 💼 Shared past employer

🔥 Strongest

A recruiter at your target company

🎓 Same university as you

🎓 Alumni

✍️ Ready-to-send intro“Hi — we both studied at [your school]. I’d love to hear about your path to a company you are targeting before I apply…”

… plus everyone else in your network who can put in a good word.

See who can refer you in — pick your target company:

Short answer: Ask about their story and what surprised them, what is genuinely changing in their world, and what they would do in your position — then close with "who else should I talk to?" Keep it curious and low-pressure, never ask for a job in the chat, and follow up with a specific thank-you. That sequence is what turns 15 minutes into a real relationship and, often, a referral.

Questions that make a coffee chat work

Their story. "How did you end up in [role] — and what surprised you about it?" Warm, open, and it puts them at ease.
Real signal. "What is changing in [their world] that outsiders miss?" You learn something you could not Google.
Advice for you. "If you were me, what would you focus on?" A small investment that makes them your ally.
The closer. "Who else would you suggest I talk to?" This is how one chat becomes several.

How to actually get the coffee chat

The chat is only possible if someone says yes to it. Your odds are highest with people you share something real with — alumni, ex-colleagues, people in your field — because the shared signal is what makes a stranger give you 15 minutes. A short message that leads with that and asks for a small, defined slice of time is what earns the yes.

Send it to a handful of the warmest people at each target company rather than blasting strangers; a few warm yeses beat fifty ignored cold asks.

After the chat: the part most people skip

Follow up within a day with a thank-you that references something specific they said — it is what makes you memorable and keeps the door open. If they offered to introduce you to someone, make that easy for them with a short forwardable blurb.

FindWarmIntros helps with the front of this funnel — finding the warm people worth a coffee chat at any company and drafting the opener — so you can focus on the conversation itself.

Frequently Asked Questions

What questions should I ask in a coffee chat?

Ask about their story and what surprised them, what is changing in their world, and what they would do in your position — then close with "who else should I talk to?" Keep it curious, not transactional, and do not ask for a job in the chat.

How do I get someone to agree to a coffee chat?

Message people you share something real with — alumni, ex-colleagues, people in your field — lead with that shared signal, and ask for a small defined slice of time ("15 minutes?"). Warm contacts say yes far more often than strangers.

Should I ask for a job or referral in a coffee chat?

No. Keep the chat about their perspective and your path. Asking outright makes it transactional and usually backfires. The referral tends to come afterward, on its own, or you can follow up later once a relationship exists.

What do I do after a coffee chat?

Send a thank-you within a day that references something specific they said, and if they offered an introduction, make it easy with a short forwardable blurb. The follow-up is what turns a pleasant chat into a lasting, useful connection.

Keep going

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