Why this question order works
Good coffee chats follow an arc: start with what's changing in their world (easy for them, shows you're curious), move to their personal story (people love telling it), then ask for advice aimed at your situation (turns them into a coach), and close on resources and a next step (keeps the door open). That order builds the relationship first - which is exactly what makes someone want to help you later.
- Don't open with the referral ask. The chat is where an acquaintance becomes an advocate. The ask, if it's needed at all, comes in the thank-you note - see how to ask for a referral.
- Take one note per answer. Referencing their exact words in your follow-up is what separates memorable from generic.
- End on time. You asked for 15 minutes; protect it. It's the single strongest signal you're worth helping.
Want deeper preparation? Browse the full guides: coffee chat questions and informational interview questions. And if you don't have the chat booked yet, FindWarmIntros finds the people at your target company who share your school, employer, or field - the ones most likely to say yes to 15 minutes.
Frequently asked questions
- What questions should I ask in a coffee chat?
- Follow the arc: industry trends, their personal path, advice for someone in your position, and resources or people they'd point you to. Close with a light next step.
- How long should it be?
- Ask for 15-20 minutes and respect it. Short chats get accepted more and leave the helper feeling good.
- Should I ask for a referral during the chat?
- Not directly. Build the connection; close by asking what they'd suggest as a next step. Many offer to refer unprompted - otherwise, ask in the follow-up note naming the specific role.
- Is this free?
- Yes - it runs in your browser, needs no signup, and never sends anything anywhere.